Whether you're new or have years of experience there are always questions that need answers. Below are the most commonly asked. If you find your question isn't answered here our on the site, please drop us a line!
Where and how do I find the right Dominatrix in Toronto for me?
It all comes down to compatible interests, chemistry and capability. Here is a checklist on how to find the right Dominatrix in Toronto for you:
1. Know yourself. Make a list of your interests and things you'd like to explore.
2. Make a list of utility requirements such as "located downtown" if that's a deciding factor.
3. Search Google, Twitter, Directories, Leolist etc for Dominatrix (es) in Toronto.
4. When you see an image or description that interests you, look at the Domme's Interests/Services on her website to see if she is compatible with your interests.
5. Read her Hard Limits as they may cover things you hadn't thought to include in your interests.
6. Before contacting a Dominatrix, read their cancellation policy, Tribute info, Guidelines & Rules to answer any further questions you may have.
7. If you find a compatible Dominatrix, follow their contact instructions. They are managing admin and appointments like any other business. They will not respond to "Hey", "U free tonite?" etc messages. They conduct themselves in a professional manner (which is what you want) and they expect a professional manner on your end as well.
8. Dominatrixes will need the following information if there isn't a detailed contact form in order to streamline the booking & screening process: name, email, alternate dates and times for a booking, any health conditions or physical limitations & emotional triggers, your Hard Limits (having "No limits" is a big red flag because it's not realistic or responsible), A detailed description of your interests and the scene requested and references (or who you've seen before if applicable)
9. Patience. Expect a response within 24-48 hours. A minimum of 24 hours notice is usually required due to scene preparation and availability.
10. Keep correspondence with your potential Domme concise and professional.
11. Arrive ON TIME to your appointment. Give yourself at least a 30 min window for traffic, finding the location and to find parking. For TTC, give yourself a 1 hour window because it's the TTC.
12. If you are early, enjoy the surrounding area a far distance away or wait in a discrete area far from the location. Discretion is key and that means not drawing attention to the studio.
13. Have fun.
WHAT SHOULD I DO AFTER THE SESSION? WHAT IS AFTERCARE?
Aftercare is the process of bringing you back into the "real world" after the scene ends. Much like the cool down at the end of a intense workout, Aftercare serves to manage endorphins and any emotional/ physical responses that need attention. Aftercare needs are unique to each individual. They can include but are not limited to:
- Being held by the Dominant
- Sitting down and being still for a time
- Absolutely nothing at all
It is important to take 20-30 minutes after the scene to get fresh air, juice/water and something sweet like chocolate or candy. We try to keep treats on hand at the dungeon for this reason.
DO NOT DRIVE IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOUR SCENE. Take those 20-30 min and reintroduce yourself to the world around you.
Why do I feel depressed / can't stop crying the day(s) after my scene?
You're coming down from a high. It's completely normal. Your body can't sustain that light, made-of-magic feeling because all your endorphins were used up in one go. Your body needs time to make some more. The feeling is temporary and extremely common. This is why self-care post session is so important. Drinking lots of fluid, eating properly and getting fresh air will help immensely.
Aside from the physical reactions caused by endorphins, BDSM can provide a safe, consensual and non-judgemental way for people to explore deeply personal experiences that can "open the flood gates".
This is normal. BDSM can provide therapeutic benefits such as giving guests the tools to choose what will occur during a scene, giving them agency and the ability to reclaim control. As much as I love helping people, I am not qualified to take a guest from that place of emotional release and calm to a place of analysis and clinical therapy. I can help bring you to the water but I can't make you drink.
The goal of a scene is to leave you feeling lighter than air, validated, understood and energized. BDSM has thousands upon thousands (millions?) of things to explore. Not all of them match up to the fantasy you've had in your head for 15 years.
That being said, I'm not a mind reader. I provide multiple ways to communicate before and during the scene. I create an environment where communication is encouraged. I will watch for physical reactions as well.
BUT I AM NOT A MIND READER. Please answer check-ins truthfully. I can only meet you halfway. We're a team. Both sides have to be in the game. Giving up "control" does not mean giving up responsibility for yourself and your experience. You will always know yourself better than I do.
I always welcome feedback after a session so going forward we can learn, evolve & play in the best way possible.
What if I have to reschedule or cancel?
Rescheduling is perfectly fine! Life happens. But please keep in mind that your original appointment may have taken priority over another request. I can't always fill a cancellation and that costs me time and tribute. I require at least 24 hours notice for penalty-free cancellation. In the event of a NO-SHOW, or Cancellation less than 24 hours prior to the appointment time, you will be required to either:
A) Tribute $75 immediately for inconvenience and lost tribute.
B) Pay the Tribute IN FULL AND IN ADVANCE for your next appointment.
Do you offer sex acts or sexual services?
During a scene I stay completely clothed and in control. There is no exposure or direct contact with my genitals, bust or butt. No illicit acts are performed on me and no illicit acts are performed on a guest or third party. My interests are therapy based with a focus on radical acceptance, healing and personal growth. I achieve these goals through varied sensation application and psychological and emotional guidance.
What is a Dominatrix?
A Dominatrix in Toronto is no different than a Dominatrix in Texas. "A professional dominatrix is skilled at applying the right kind of pain that can make her masochistic, submissive client cry out in pleasure. There’s a common misconception that BDSM is always about pain, but it’s really about the sensations. You might be surprised to learn that a profession technically classified as “sex work” does not involve any actual sex. Sure, you can go online and find someone who will gladly take your money, slap you around a bit and then have sex with you—but that’s not a service provided by a dominatrix. A truly professional and experienced dominatrix is more like a guide through the less accessible benefits that some men—and women—find in the acts of submission or masochism, both in and out of a dungeon. This is why most sessions with a pro-domme (professional dominatrix) are carefully thought out and planned beforehand by the mistress to make sure they are uniquely tailored to, and enjoyed by, each particular sub.
Your own level of experience is important when choosing the right pro-domme ... If you’re a total BDSM newbie, you’ll want to make sure your dominatrix is willing to take you on as a client; many pro-dommes are picky about who they will let serve them. You also may want to brush up on your BDSM lingo. Just like you would research a new doctor before letting her test your tonsils, you should check your dominatrix’s website for a list of services to make sure she’s the right one to tease your tastes."
Time Out, Los Angeles
Are you discrete?
Due to the vulnerable nature of our interests, discretion is of the utmost importance. Your privacy is a priority. For this reason we use end-to-end encrypted email (Protonmail) for all correspondence.
What is the Tribute amount & procedure?
Tribute amounts can be found on our Tributes page.
HELP! I'm new and have never seen a Dominatrix before!
It takes a lot of courage to share that private part of yourself and it's my role to help you embrace it. I love newbies because it's important that their first experience is a positive, patient, safe and comfortable one. I'm very happy to listen to your interests and work with you to create a scene that will leave you feeling energized and in balance. Submit a Booking Request to start the conversation.
How do I prepare for a SESSION?
Arrive punctually. If you are late, your time will not be extended to compensate. That time is lost. Have the appropriate Tribute ready upon arrival. Be freshly showered and have excellent hygiene. Be polite and respectful.
DO RESPECT MY LIMITS AS I WILL RESPECT YOURS
There are things I love to do. There are things I like to do. And there are things that I will not do. If you have an interest that is not compatible with mine then I suggest using the ol' Google to find another Domme who is a better fit for you.
RESPECT MY PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
I love what I do and because of this, I keep my worlds separate. I may volunteer information of my own volition but do not press me or I'll bitch slap you out the door. It's not charming. It's creepy.
Unlike other establishments, The Ritual Chamber does not take bookings via phone. Enquiries are checked regularly and will generally speaking be returned within 12-48 hours or sooner depending on the timing of the request. Please ensure that you give a minimum of 24 hours’ notice to maximize your chances of being booked at a mutually convenient time.
I want to interview you for my podcast/ blog / magazine etc. How can I get in touch?
We always welcome the opportunity to spread awareness and understanding of BDSM. Please use our Contact section or email us at theladyhenry[at]protonmail.ch
Can I hire you to do videos / appearances?
We assess offers on a case by case basis. Please refer to our Interests page to know if we are compatible with your project. Please send a detailed pitch via our Contact form or via email at theladyhenry[at]protonmail.ch