Let's be honest. We just went through some shit.
Aftercare is the process of bringing you back into the "real world" after the scene ends. Much like the cool down at the end of a intense workout, Aftercare serves to manage endorphins and any emotional/ physical responses that need attention. Aftercare needs are unique to each individual. They can include but are not limited to:
- Being held by the Dominant
- Sitting down and being still for a time
- Absolutely nothing at all
It is important to take 20-30 minutes after the scene to get fresh air, juice/water and something sweet like chocolate or candy. We try to keep treats on hand at the dungeon for this reason.
DO NOT DRIVE IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOUR SCENE. Take those 20-30 min and reintroduce yourself to the world around you.
Why do I feel depressed / can't stop crying the day(s) after my scene?
You're coming down from a high. It's completely normal. Your body can't sustain that light, made-of-magic feeling because all your endorphins were used up in one go. Your body needs time to make some more. The feeling is temporary and extremely common. This is why self-care post session is so important. Drinking lots of fluid, eating properly and getting fresh air will help immensely.
Aside from the physical reactions caused by endorphins, BDSM can provide a safe, consensual and non-judgemental way for people to explore deeply personal experiences that can "open the flood gates".
This is normal. BDSM can provide therapeutic benefits such as giving guests the tools to choose what will occur during a scene, giving them agency and the ability to reclaim control. As much as I love helping people, I am not qualified to take a guest from that place of emotional release and calm to a place of analysis and clinical therapy. I can help bring you to the water but I can't make you drink.
The goal of a scene is to leave you feeling lighter than air, validated, understood and energized. BDSM has thousands upon thousands (millions?) of things to explore. Not all of them match up to the fantasy you've had in your head for 15 years.
That being said, I'm not a mind reader. I provide multiple ways to communicate before and during the scene. I create an environment where communication is encouraged. I will watch for physical reactions as well.
BUT I AM NOT A MIND READER. Please answer check-ins truthfully. I can only meet you halfway. We're a team. Both sides have to be in the game. Giving up "control" does not mean giving up responsibility for yourself and your experience. You will always know yourself better than I do.
I always welcome feedback after a session so going forward we can learn, evolve & play in the best way possible.